[Warning: This article from The Times may disturb some readers. It’s about a program that uses spatial and social presence to help convicted, imprisoned domestic abusers in Spain understand what it’s like to be the victim rather than the perpetrator of that crime. See the original story for two more images; related coverage of crime and justice is also available from The Times. For more details about the VRespectMe program, see the April 2023 report “Use of Virtual Reality in Catalan Prisons: Challenges and Opportunities” from Justice Trends. –Matthew]

[Image: The psychologist Nicolas Barnes, right, showcases the technology in Catalonia, Spain, where it has been used to rehabilitate prisoners since 2019. Credit: TIMES NEWSPAPERS]

I tried the VR headset that puts domestic abusers in victims’ shoes

Technology helps to rehabilitate offenders by allowing them to experience domestic violence first hand, teaching them the empathy they often lack

By Rachel Sylvester, Columnist and chairwoman of The Times Crime and Justice Commission
March 28 2025

The man is angry as he comes through the door. “What are you doing?” he shouts. “Have you seen yourself in the mirror? … There’s not one woman out there who looks as wretched as you do right now, you’re disgusting.”

In virtual reality, I have stepped into the shoes of a victim of domestic violence. The abuser moves closer, looming over me, accusing me of giving him the silent treatment but talking on the phone to my friends all day while he is out at work. “Aren’t you going to say anything?“ he asks. “Typical you, I have to come home every day and look at your shitty face, that scared little puppy dog face.”

Increasingly aggressive, the man throws the phone to the ground, then the tone suddenly changes. “I’ve been too soft on you, I’ve been too patient because I love you,” he says. “I just want you to be a woman that’s worth my while.”

The harrowing dialogue is part of a virtual reality program designed to tackle violence in the home by allowing perpetrators to experience their crime from the point of view of their victim.

The technology, which has been introduced in six prisons in Catalonia, northeast Spain, puts men who have been convicted of domestic abuse into the body of a woman who is shouted at and undermined by her abusive partner.

More than 1,000 prisoners have taken part in the immersive experience. Some have been in tears and others have found it so upsetting that they removed the VR headset before the end.

I had to take the headset off because I feared the male avatar was going to hit the female character I had become.

Nicolas Barnes, the psychologist who designed the VRespectMe program, said the purpose was to challenge the attitudes of domestic abusers by allowing them to experience their behaviour from the point of view of the victim. “We want to improve empathy in men who have been violent towards their partners,” he said. “The early results are positive, we can see a tendency towards improving empathy.”

Domestic violence perpetrators typically have little emotional understanding of the impact of their actions, explained Barnes, who is deputy director of the youth justice estate in Catalonia. “There is often a lack of empathy in these men. We put them into the body of a victim so they can feel something similar. We don’t explain empathy, we make them feel it. It breaks barriers because it’s not intellectual, it’s visceral. Lack of empathy is directly connected with violent conduct.”

The men are encouraged to choose characteristics in the female avatar that mean the virtual reality character resembles their partner. “The tech would allow us to give the actual face of the victim but we don’t do that for ethical reasons,” Barnes said. “They have to imagine the woman is their victim.”

The VR scenario begins with the man throwing insults at the woman, seeking to undermine and manipulate her. As the three-minute film progresses, the male avatar becomes increasingly aggressive and threatening, comes closer to the woman and raises his hand. “We find that even quite crude graphics have an effect,” Barnes said.

A psychologist is with the offenders throughout the experience and talks to them about their reaction when it ends.

The project — run by the Justice Department of Catalonia and Barcelona University — has now been translated into English and Finnish so it can be exported around the world. Other Spanish prisons are keen to introduce the technology.

Barnes and his team have also designed different virtual reality programs to tackle violence against women and girls. In one, aimed at young offenders, the inmate becomes the spectator to sexual harassment in a bar.

Another program forces the perpetrator to have a dialogue with his own victim.

“In that scenario the woman asks questions to the aggressor such as ‘Why did you do that to me?’ or ‘Do you think when you come out of prison you will do something similar?’,” Barnes explained. “He replies to those questions then he touches a button and turns into the woman and listens to himself giving those answers. The men find it very shocking because now it becomes very difficult to lie because they would be lying to themselves.”

One man who took part in the project explained how it had changed his perspective.

Addressing his partner in virtual reality, he admitted: “I let myself be carried away by rage. I am aware of the damage I caused you. I let my anger get the better of me and I couldn’t control myself. Now that I know I made a lot of mistakes I am very sorry.”

The Times Crime and Justice Commission is interviewing former police chiefs, business leaders, lawyers and academics to draw up recommendations for criminal justice reform. The final report will be published in April.